Again and again

Dew,
I've just finish my NMM test and now i'm still left with alot of time before i play badminton with my "friends". I'm so depressed, my friends don't treat me as a friend and i feel i've drifted away from them.

One of my close friend, Lip chun, has confessed to me that he likes me. Dew, i told you before i have another good friend wesley aka my "Girlfriend" and last time, due to the fact that lip chun keeps sticking to me, wesley starts to drift away from me.

I feel utterly sad because i do treat them as my friend. Now it's so different. i wonder who to turn to and again, my world starts to fold up. I can't describe the situation i'm in now but somehow i can only give a brief description.

I don't wish my close friend liking me cuz i don't want history to repeat and i don't want to hurt others. One thing for sure is that, i will never fall in love with anyone from my school. That is one of the promise i made with god.

The present God gave me when i feel sad starts to be a mystery or rather a doubt. I wonder if it is fate or whatsoever but some how, i feel so redundant. I am not surprise if God is playing with me and giving me vaque hints.

False is what my life is. I can never be happy. Everyone here must have been tired of my sickening attitude towards life but no one knows what damn SHIT i am facing now. As compared to the TSUNAMI victims, i know i am better however, i am just stuck in my own world and i do pray every night that i will be guided out form this dark tunnel i am walking along...........

Please help me................