My thoughts for now...

My dewy,

I am so tired....infact,it's 3.44am now. Well, i didnt have the chance to write in to you because my internet was down and had lotsa projects to rush. Lotsa things happened.Kor kor richard left this world a week ago and i cried because somhow, i just can't accept the fact. Someone i used to talk and see has just passed to another world.

Recently, haven't been sleeping well because of my projects but am glad i have my friends to help me somehow.My life quieten somwhow but still am worried for kaisam.He had fever and was admitted to hospital cuz he fainted in school.Do you know how worried i was?? I am so worried till i couldn't sleep. Unfortunate thing is i was busy with projects and my net was down.

That makes it more difficult for me.I left him online messages and hope when he is out, he will see it. Wanted to call him but didn't have the money to but heard he was in coma and i had nothing to do then.

I really miss him alot. I wish he is by my side. Time just carry things away. I wonder how is he now? Miss him terribly. At least, i know that i musn't turn to the old ways of hurting myself. I wanna love and to do so, i must love myself.

Sometimes, emotions in me can't speak and its very difficult for me to stay happy but the least i do is to fake a smile. Time flies, i will get me a job soon cuz holidays are around the corner and that means, exams before hoildays of course.

I am just so speechless... I just wish i could have my dreams that ultimately come true... my dreams that always feel naive... i really wish he could be here to hug me as he always said to me he wished he could be here to hug me....