mIst

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I come to a chapter in life Where everyone starts to turn their backs on me And slowli watching them fade from the distance. As lonely as ever    As i sat & cry away Watching them turning into strangers I feel the world on my shoulders And i know i can't carry on anymore.   My vision is turning misty And at any point in time I may just trip and fall. I don't want my vision to be misty I rather close my eyes and drown in my sleep And find myself never to wake up anymore.

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dear dew,i went to the beach this afternoon with my best friend.Well,i found out i've yet to accomplish certain things during my leisure time.As i walked past sandcastles,I remembered when i was very young,dad used to be the judge of our ( me & my siblings) sandcastles.I remembered how he would reward us with money when we built a beautiful sandcastle.

 

I realised that was i was longing to do everything yet unable to achieve it.Today,as i watched how those kites fly high in the sky ,i realised i've never had a chance to fly a kite.As i walked along the shore,i remembered the days where the little crabs used to hide in those little holes in the beach at Philippines,near my grandma's house.

As i picked up some of the seashells,I've come to a point that i will go to the beach to pick up seashells,be it alone or with a friend,when i'm feeling down.By then ,i guessed i would have filled up a big bottle of seashells.

This bottle of course will be given to some good friend out there whom i willing to share my sorrows with.But it is impossible because such friend doesn't exists.

Sky,I guess i have to apologise to you because I would like to back out from the game i've mentioned.It's impossible for such a mysterious you to play with a pessimist me for a long period of time.I know that you would somehow leave me alone and i don't want to feel that way again.I don't want to feel people entering in & out of my life.I guessed i have no will & strength to carry on & even carry on playing this game with you.

I fear of losing someone anymore & i guessed the reason why i have dew,dudu & dopey ( my soft toys) iz because they are not humans.Dudu has been with me for the past eight years and he never fails to be there when i'm crying and Dopey ,to who is with me for 2 years.I guessed that's how my life reigns.