you

It's the time of the year where the streets are well litted, where shopping centres are decorated with Christmas tree and ornaments all over.
It's the time of the year where my heart longs to be alone.
My love for him has never died but his love for mine vanished into thin air.

I will never be able to want to love anyone because all i could do is think about those days. Reminiscing, alas! Yes i was and i am. Tell me what can i do? The only thing in life i've never regret doing is loving him.

Dewy, i could never love again. What am i doing to myself? Why do i always direct myself into this path. I put on a facade which i dread yet what can i do? My everyday laughters are killing me, i am weak with fatigue, who can understand? Who will want to understand? ONe minute knowing me as a pessimist is a very good reason to keep away from me. I need to turn to something yet i do not know what is it.

All i can do is lie in my comfort zone which dates me back to the age of 13-15 years old, where i started off knowing him. All i remember is us walking home together, me waiting in his room for him to get ready for a basketball game, me choosing him a white shirt he dreads wearing whilst playing sports, him making the most diluted yet sweet milo whenever i go to his house, him making me peanut butter sandwich in which i slowly fall in love eating it, him meeting me in the morning yet feeling moody, me waiting for him at the bus stop for him to arrive while we stroll in the school late together, me when i waited for him afterschool at the basketball court till he end his game, us when we left our bags at his home and head down to the beach(my favourite beach)near his home, him when he silently hold my hands, everything about us....

I could never love again.... I reminisce too much... too much... like a child who accidentally let go of her kite, the wind that she hated which blew away her kite as she stood there in a daze holding the string of the kite and wondering where have her kite gone...