Cry

Dear Dew and Sky,
 
My blog seems more alive now! Well, i'm still in school and i've got lotsa things to say to you guys ( assuming sky is a guy). Well, lesson is still the same but each day i find myself sinking into confusion and stress. Today, i just made some critical mistakes ( CRITICAL, i know ) and i was somehow mocked by her! I know I am stupid and not so fast in evrything but somehow it's also my first time to this subject! I really pray that lord will give her the knowledge to discover and understand people around her and may she realise that she ain't perfect.May god forgive her for constantly having such a habit and may she realise her mistake one very day.
 
I don't know why, i really feel i somehow don't belong here.To my anger, i discovered there is something wrong with my right leg now.I guess one of the veins thingy has been twisted ?? I rememebered at the beginning of last year, when i actually had this problem, i told my dad and he says :"ok , next week i'll bring you to a physician",but it so happens that a week past and another and so on but he haven't brought me to one.When the o's was near the corner, the pain act up again but he says he will bring me after my o's? (-.-") I feel so so helpless.
 
Last night, i broke down and i couldn't take it anymore i nearly.....BUT i called catherine up and well, luckily she was there when i break down if not...... My leg pain occured last night and it hurts so badly.Together with it was an error in my project and i just can't seem to get things right.Mummy was there when i was about to turn in and i was limping away and whinning away.All she said to me was :"You already know you have such problem,you must bare with it , you can't help it.I am also the same."
 
It took me quite a long time to fall asleep.When i woke up, mummy asked about my condition and well, i replied the same thing. i know i shouldn't be complianing but i don't know why too.I don't know why, why must i forgive and forget ? I can't understand why eventhough my friend  hurt me (the one i mentioned earlier) but i still help her in anyways.I feel i am so dumb.I have been cheated lotsa times in friendship yet still unable to overcome my stupidity.I feel utterly useless.I need to go to the beach this week! I NEED THE BEACH!!!!
 
Well, sky, I somehow feel you might be someone i know in secondary school yet i don't wish that you are from my secondary school.Sky, ease me by just being honest in telling me 2 things about you; 1) Are you a male of female? 2) Are you from my secondary school?
 
I think, i am just so useless.All i can do is feel sad and helpless and whatever. I have no feelings anymore. I am becoming numb.Very numb.